I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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