It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
