Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My nipple is on Facebook.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How external is "for external use only"?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
