I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
