Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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