similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize