I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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