I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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