I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
