I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
