I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
