I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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