we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
