whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
