Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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