omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
