id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
