Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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