So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
