stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he fucked my hip out of place.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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