no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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