Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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