woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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