I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
