wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
