im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There's always time for handjobs
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
