I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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