You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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