We named our party play list daddy issues
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
