She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
