i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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