So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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