god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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