Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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