So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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