"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
