Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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