What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you win again, gameday.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
In other news, I just burned my penis
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
