I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
