I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
