There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
