you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
