I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I stole a fireplace last night.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
