Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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