I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
