ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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