He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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