I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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