Don't you send me to vm
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
