words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
