I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
