You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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