So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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