I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
