She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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