If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Randomize
