Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
