WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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