I hate all girls vehemently.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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