You smell like a Billy Joel song
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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