Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
