If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i need some magic done to my vagina
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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