And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
