You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
