why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
