I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
