Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he had hair everywhere except his balls
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
