I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have aggressive nipples.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
